When Jennifer first arrived, she asked us to write a journal entry titled "Who am I?". At the time, we were ignorant to the fact that details from these entries were going to be used for our showcase monologues. Therefore, I took the assignment seriously and wrote about a personal event in my life the shaped me. My dad.
When I received the script and I realized that the story about my dad was in there, I had mixed feelings. Part of me wanted to go through with it because it really is a significant part of who I am and no one really knows about it. However, knowing that my stepdad would be in the audience made me really uncomfortable. My stepdad has raised me as his daughter since I was 5. He has financially supported me and welcomed me into his family. He is who I consider to be my father, despite the fact that we're not biologically related. I was worried that I would offend him by talking about my dad and how what happened with my dad affected me.
What was in my monologue wasn't the whole story. There are other details that I chose not include because they didn't relate to the fact that the event shaped my fear of abandonment. If I had gone on to go into detail, I would have refused to perform the monologue.
In the end, I went through with it. I warned my mum and my stepdad beforehand about the monologue however, I don't think my stepdad fully understood what would be in it. As I was performing it he felt awkward because a lot of the audience members knew who he was. He and my mother sprinted out of the theatre after the performance.
Despite my stepdad, people who knew me were very touched by my monologue. Those audience members who didn't know me or personal details about me, were unaware that my monologue was a true story. However, those who knew me well (one of my friends and my best friends mother), were brought to tears because they knew that it was a true story.
Monday, May 7, 2012
Now that it's over..
Now that the I look on back on the process of creating the showcase, I understand why Jennifer had us do things a certain way. By putting responsibility on us and forcing us to work together to create a great show for the enjoyment of others, we were able to put any differences aside and cooperate. There were obvious hiccups throughout the journey. For example, the ensembles dismissal of anything I had to say or when I missed 2 dance rehearsals. However, as we got to tech week, all hiccups were sorted out and became irrelevant. They became something to move passed.
I have found all year that whenever I contribute to a discussion, my comments go unnoticed. It isn't until I actually say "Hey you guys are accusing me of not contributing and here are countless examples of when I have contributed and you are completely dismissing what I have to say!". At that point they realized that I did contribute, but my contributions were still dismissed. It seemed like nothing I had to say was good enough. I planned a flashmob to bring us closer together and to get us to work on something together outside of class. Although some members of the ensemble loved my idea, a lot of them didn't think there was a point to it. A lot of this dismissal built up during the year until it just reached the point where I was completely unmotivated to do anything.
I am good at organizing things. I organize events and that's one of my biggest strengths. I planned this years prom by myself and also the junior side of this years powderpuff game. When I was assigned costumes I put a lot of work into organizing what everyone had to wear. I initiated skype calls with the two Julia's. However, as they are recognized for putting in my effort than I do, despite the fact that I did essentially everything, they got most of the credit. I ordered costumes that we couldn't get from school and paid for them myself. I also harassed everyone to bring in their costumes. I did have help looking for costumes from the costume department at school so I wasn't completely alone for that task but I did do a lot of the work myself and that is a responsibility that I took on because I enjoy organizing things. I am not complaining for having to do most of the work. I just felt disheartened by receiving little credit in comparison to my group members.
One of the most important lessons that I learned throughout the showcase process was to work with other people and not do everything by myself. With the dancing, I felt almost superior to other members of the ensemble because I knew that I could learn the steps quickly. The first rehearsal was originally scheduled for 2:30 which was fine because I got out of my dance class at 2. However, the time of the rehearsal was changed to 2 while I was in my dance class and as a result, I was blamed for being late (despite the fact that I had a prior commitment that originally didn't conflict). There were two rehearsals after that that I missed due to inability to get rides. I knew that that wasn't a valid excuse but I made irrational decisions in the spur of the moment. However, at the time I thought that I could catch up separately. I had to learn that my not being there affected other members of the ensemble.
The showcase was a wake up call for our ensemble. We recognized our weaknesses and were able to work on them. As a result we are all really close in and outside of class.
I have found all year that whenever I contribute to a discussion, my comments go unnoticed. It isn't until I actually say "Hey you guys are accusing me of not contributing and here are countless examples of when I have contributed and you are completely dismissing what I have to say!". At that point they realized that I did contribute, but my contributions were still dismissed. It seemed like nothing I had to say was good enough. I planned a flashmob to bring us closer together and to get us to work on something together outside of class. Although some members of the ensemble loved my idea, a lot of them didn't think there was a point to it. A lot of this dismissal built up during the year until it just reached the point where I was completely unmotivated to do anything.
I am good at organizing things. I organize events and that's one of my biggest strengths. I planned this years prom by myself and also the junior side of this years powderpuff game. When I was assigned costumes I put a lot of work into organizing what everyone had to wear. I initiated skype calls with the two Julia's. However, as they are recognized for putting in my effort than I do, despite the fact that I did essentially everything, they got most of the credit. I ordered costumes that we couldn't get from school and paid for them myself. I also harassed everyone to bring in their costumes. I did have help looking for costumes from the costume department at school so I wasn't completely alone for that task but I did do a lot of the work myself and that is a responsibility that I took on because I enjoy organizing things. I am not complaining for having to do most of the work. I just felt disheartened by receiving little credit in comparison to my group members.
One of the most important lessons that I learned throughout the showcase process was to work with other people and not do everything by myself. With the dancing, I felt almost superior to other members of the ensemble because I knew that I could learn the steps quickly. The first rehearsal was originally scheduled for 2:30 which was fine because I got out of my dance class at 2. However, the time of the rehearsal was changed to 2 while I was in my dance class and as a result, I was blamed for being late (despite the fact that I had a prior commitment that originally didn't conflict). There were two rehearsals after that that I missed due to inability to get rides. I knew that that wasn't a valid excuse but I made irrational decisions in the spur of the moment. However, at the time I thought that I could catch up separately. I had to learn that my not being there affected other members of the ensemble.
The showcase was a wake up call for our ensemble. We recognized our weaknesses and were able to work on them. As a result we are all really close in and outside of class.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Showcase: Costumes
As we have yet to find out the actual story for our showcase, it is difficult to come up with any costume ideas. However, I have two ideas that we can use regardless of the story because they are flexible and can relate to anything that we do.
The first idea I had was for everyone to dress as their stereotype. As the purpose and I guess "theme" of the play is cultural stereotypes, we can't go wrong with having everyone dress as their stereotype. At the same time, stereotypes can be very entertaining. The good part about this idea is that a lot of costumes/cultural clothing that we may need, will most likely be available in either the costume department at school or in an ensemble members wardrobe at home. Therefore, we most likely wouldn't have to spend a lot of money. The only problem with this idea is that there will be a lot of dancing and it may not be easy to dance in all of the "stereotype costumes".
The second idea was actually suggested to me by Ivanna and together we developed it and finalized it to what it is now. The idea is to have each ensemble member in a different colour t shirt, black shorts, black converse and tye dye knee high socks that are the same colour as their t shirt. This idea is easy to move in and will therefore not cause any problems/restraints when it comes to the dancing. Another good thing about this idea is that it is so "open ended" that it can relate to any direction that the play goes. We made a list of all of the ensemble members and the colours that they would be. We chose the colours based on personality.
Ivanna - Green
Tegan - Aqua Blue
Emily C. - Orange
Julia H. - Purple
Julia S. - Lilac
Leah B. - Navy Blue
Connor - Gray
Tristan - Red
Aaron - White
Lorenzo - Yellow
Alejandro - undecided
Amazon has all of the t shirts and socks that we would need for this idea and they are all relatively cheap. The t shirts would be the one below. It comes in every colour that we would need it.
The socks would be the socks in the image below. These too come in every colour that we would need.
All together this would cost about $170.00 to get all of the t shirts and the socks. This is assuming that all girls and guys have a pair of black shorts. However, I am assuming that they do because it is a pretty standard thing to have and they should definitely get some if they don't just for personal/everyday use. I am also assuming that all girls and guys have a pair of black converse. I am pretty sure that all of the girls do. However, I also think that there are some in the costume department at AIS that we might be able to borrow.
In terms of the t shirts, they would most likely be fine for the guys. However, girls could spice them up a bit and maybe do a one shoulder thing or something like that. They are like the t shirts that we get for the musical every year. They are just standard/classic t shirts.
I have shared these two ideas with the other members of the costume committee (Julia Henry and Julia Schlicht) and they like them.
What is a Brit's first impression of the US?
When British people think of the US, they think superficial and fat. The opinion and common perception of the US is that it is this big consumer that is over materialized and as a result is very fake.
A lot of the US consists of advertisements and shopping and money. Whereas in somewhere like England that is a bit smaller and a bit more quaint, those aspects are not the top priority. A big thing that Brit's have trouble understanding is the concept of fake christmas trees. Fake christmas trees that can be reused every year are becoming more and more popular in the US. Real christmas trees aren't actually that common anymore. My family obviously still buys real trees because we are English and it is what we have always done. However, I actually can't think of any American's off of the top of my head that has a real christmas tree.
Another common perception that the UK has of the US is obesity. Due to the large amount of fast food, processed food, factory farms etc., there is a very high rate of diabetes and obesity. However, Brit's take this data and do what the American's do with the teeth stereotype. We generalize it and assume that everyone in America is extremely overweight.
There are also a lot of cultural stereotypes that the UK consider. For example, there are the ditsy blondes, the rednecks, the gangsters and then the cowboys. Because America is so large and is divided into different states, we don't assume that everyone is culturally the same. However, we do over stereotype people and it can often come across as insulting. For example, we may assume that everyone in the south has a gun, or that every African American woman was pregnant at 15 etc.
A lot of the US consists of advertisements and shopping and money. Whereas in somewhere like England that is a bit smaller and a bit more quaint, those aspects are not the top priority. A big thing that Brit's have trouble understanding is the concept of fake christmas trees. Fake christmas trees that can be reused every year are becoming more and more popular in the US. Real christmas trees aren't actually that common anymore. My family obviously still buys real trees because we are English and it is what we have always done. However, I actually can't think of any American's off of the top of my head that has a real christmas tree.
Another common perception that the UK has of the US is obesity. Due to the large amount of fast food, processed food, factory farms etc., there is a very high rate of diabetes and obesity. However, Brit's take this data and do what the American's do with the teeth stereotype. We generalize it and assume that everyone in America is extremely overweight.
There are also a lot of cultural stereotypes that the UK consider. For example, there are the ditsy blondes, the rednecks, the gangsters and then the cowboys. Because America is so large and is divided into different states, we don't assume that everyone is culturally the same. However, we do over stereotype people and it can often come across as insulting. For example, we may assume that everyone in the south has a gun, or that every African American woman was pregnant at 15 etc.
What is an American's first impression of the UK?
When American's first visit the UK they basically think that there is all this hype about a country that actually sucks. They think that it is too small and depressing and they feel claustrophobic and stuck when they visit.
Another common perception of the UK is it's cold and rainy weather and short days. It takes a lot of searching for someone who isn't British to find the beauty of the UK. Although the fashion and the food and the people are always talked about, when American's get there, they have trouble getting past the weather to find what everyone talks about being so great. Unless they are in the center of London, American's feel that visiting England is a waste of time.
Another common stereotype that American's consider when visiting England is teeth. Stereotypically, British people have terribly crooked and horrible teeth. I am obviously not in that situation because I got braces when I moved to the states. However, a lot of people in England don't get braces, and as a result, they end up with bad teeth. Although this is a stereotype that is partially, it is too generalized. I, as a Brit, know many people in England that don't have terrible teeth. Obviously I know a lot of people who do, but that stereotype, doesn't relate to everyone in England.
Another common perception of the UK is it's cold and rainy weather and short days. It takes a lot of searching for someone who isn't British to find the beauty of the UK. Although the fashion and the food and the people are always talked about, when American's get there, they have trouble getting past the weather to find what everyone talks about being so great. Unless they are in the center of London, American's feel that visiting England is a waste of time.
Another common stereotype that American's consider when visiting England is teeth. Stereotypically, British people have terribly crooked and horrible teeth. I am obviously not in that situation because I got braces when I moved to the states. However, a lot of people in England don't get braces, and as a result, they end up with bad teeth. Although this is a stereotype that is partially, it is too generalized. I, as a Brit, know many people in England that don't have terrible teeth. Obviously I know a lot of people who do, but that stereotype, doesn't relate to everyone in England.
Monologue: Who do I want to be in the future based off of my Stereotype?
So I was the popular cheerleader in high school and I always said that I wanted to go to my state school (UGA), get a job in communications and then get married and become one of the real housewives. I mean..I had to go to college, if I didn't go to college I would become a hobo and no guy would ever want to marry me. SO! I decided I wanted to go to college, get a degree and then not have to use it and just get married.
Having children was just not an option. I just couldn't risk losing my figure..I mean this baby has to be maintained. I can't just eat chips everyday and expect to stay super thin with a nice butt. I mean we have to be realistic here. I have to exercise and cheerlead and eat healthy!!..this includes lots of fruit smoothies! So yeah. No babies for me. And whoever I marry has to accept that. But obviously he will because if it means he gets to keep my figure he can't exactly complain.
I wanted to be a real housewife who could cook and clean and be the "ideal" wife. However, that wasn't exactly how my life turned out. I didn't end up getting into UGA..or any good university for that matter. Apparently they don't accept you if you don't get good grades..I mean how was I supposed to know that?! I just thought that if I kept my figure and my cheerleading..i'd be good to go. But I guess now. So I had to take a gap year and apply for Georgia State the following year. I mean it's not the best school but it's still college. I got my communications degree but I wasn't married by the time I graduated. So I actually had to look for a job. I never even considered that I would have to actually use my degree. The job hunt wasn't a big success. The only job I could get was at hooters..but they said my boobs were too small so I had to get a boob job and then come back and fill out an application. So I went from a B to a large C/small D. Apparently it was an acceptable size so I got the job.
So now..i'm working at hooters with these unnecessarily large boobs that hurt my back! I still have my figure but i'm not dating anyone..at least not seriously.. Life just isn't what I expected it to be.
Having children was just not an option. I just couldn't risk losing my figure..I mean this baby has to be maintained. I can't just eat chips everyday and expect to stay super thin with a nice butt. I mean we have to be realistic here. I have to exercise and cheerlead and eat healthy!!..this includes lots of fruit smoothies! So yeah. No babies for me. And whoever I marry has to accept that. But obviously he will because if it means he gets to keep my figure he can't exactly complain.
I wanted to be a real housewife who could cook and clean and be the "ideal" wife. However, that wasn't exactly how my life turned out. I didn't end up getting into UGA..or any good university for that matter. Apparently they don't accept you if you don't get good grades..I mean how was I supposed to know that?! I just thought that if I kept my figure and my cheerleading..i'd be good to go. But I guess now. So I had to take a gap year and apply for Georgia State the following year. I mean it's not the best school but it's still college. I got my communications degree but I wasn't married by the time I graduated. So I actually had to look for a job. I never even considered that I would have to actually use my degree. The job hunt wasn't a big success. The only job I could get was at hooters..but they said my boobs were too small so I had to get a boob job and then come back and fill out an application. So I went from a B to a large C/small D. Apparently it was an acceptable size so I got the job.
So now..i'm working at hooters with these unnecessarily large boobs that hurt my back! I still have my figure but i'm not dating anyone..at least not seriously.. Life just isn't what I expected it to be.
Who do I want to be in the future?
In the future I hope to be a very successful person. After graduating from a good university in the States (Wake Forest, College of Charleston, Elon) I hope to have enough dance experience to be accepted in a dance company. Preferably a contemporary ballet company. Obviously a dancer can't dance professionally forever. There will come a time when - similar to athletes - they become to old to perform as well as the younger dancers. At this time, some dancers choose to settle down and start a family and some become dance teachers at a dance studio. I however, want to use the communications degree that I earn in University to get a job in either Public Relations or Events Management. Preferably I would have a job at a strictly PR or Events company. However, being the head of PR or Events in another more general company (e.g. a news company etc.) wouldn't be too bad either.
After my dancing career has finished and my Communications degree has become, this will be the time when I would start to think about family. Not necessarily finding a husband because I will never stop being in relationships and finding that person I want to be with for the rest of my life, even during university and my career as a dancer. I may already be married by the time my dancing career is over. However, once I am in a more stable job (my job in communications), I will be at the place to think about starting a family. I am not sure whether I will want kids in the future. A husband and someone I love and want to share the rest of my life with is enough for me. However, depending on our situation and his feelings, if we decide together that we may want children then we can try. If I had children I would want one or two. However, more than two would probably be too much to handle. I am not necessarily bothered about whether we adopt or conceive. It would be nice to conceive at least one of my children. However, there are fears and risks that come with that. Maybe when the time comes I won't be as nervous. I'm sure that if I got pregnant while married and in a stable environment I would be perfectly happy and excited.
There are things apart from my career and family that I want to accomplish in my life. I want to have pets. Not necessarily hamsters and fish and other small pets. I love dogs. I know that I would definitely want a dalmatians. I think dalmatians are cute and adorable. I have wanted dalmatians ever since I saw 101 dalmatians when I was a little girl. So I would want at least one dalmatian. However, I also want my dalmatian to have puppies. Therefore, I may end up getting her a "companion". Honestly, the whole concept of the two dalmatians and their two owners falling in love in 101 Dalmatians is adorable and obviously an ideal situation. However, I think that is a bit to out there. I just love dalmatians and it doesn't matter if my husband has a dalmatian or not.
I want to adopt and sponsor a Dolphin. There are a lot of dolphins that are endangered and I have loved Dolphins since I was a little girl. I went to Discovery Cove in Orlando when I was 8 and I got to swim with Dolphins. The Dolphin I swam with was called Rose which was extremely coincidental because my middle name is Rose. She was covered in scars. Therefore, I assume she was rescued or had experienced something prior to coming to Discovery Cove. I don't think any Dolphins should be put in a situation where there are endangered or at risk of getting hurt. Therefore, I would want to adopt a Dolphin and protect it from harm. There are these Dolphins that are found only in Zealand called Hector's Dolphins that I did a project on when I was in Primary School. They are extremely endangered and if it was possible, I would like to adopt one of them as well. They are unique due to their colour and the shape of their dorsal fin. Unlike most Dolphins with a pointed dorsal fin, Hector's Dolphins have a rounded dorsal fin.
Finally, I hope to maintain a healthy and active life. My family has a history of eating disorders and diabetes and heart problems. Therefore, the reality of that has been solidified into my brain over time. It is important to me that my family and I remain healthy and active to avoid any diseases that could occur from obesity or lack of physical exercise.
After my dancing career has finished and my Communications degree has become, this will be the time when I would start to think about family. Not necessarily finding a husband because I will never stop being in relationships and finding that person I want to be with for the rest of my life, even during university and my career as a dancer. I may already be married by the time my dancing career is over. However, once I am in a more stable job (my job in communications), I will be at the place to think about starting a family. I am not sure whether I will want kids in the future. A husband and someone I love and want to share the rest of my life with is enough for me. However, depending on our situation and his feelings, if we decide together that we may want children then we can try. If I had children I would want one or two. However, more than two would probably be too much to handle. I am not necessarily bothered about whether we adopt or conceive. It would be nice to conceive at least one of my children. However, there are fears and risks that come with that. Maybe when the time comes I won't be as nervous. I'm sure that if I got pregnant while married and in a stable environment I would be perfectly happy and excited.
There are things apart from my career and family that I want to accomplish in my life. I want to have pets. Not necessarily hamsters and fish and other small pets. I love dogs. I know that I would definitely want a dalmatians. I think dalmatians are cute and adorable. I have wanted dalmatians ever since I saw 101 dalmatians when I was a little girl. So I would want at least one dalmatian. However, I also want my dalmatian to have puppies. Therefore, I may end up getting her a "companion". Honestly, the whole concept of the two dalmatians and their two owners falling in love in 101 Dalmatians is adorable and obviously an ideal situation. However, I think that is a bit to out there. I just love dalmatians and it doesn't matter if my husband has a dalmatian or not.
I want to adopt and sponsor a Dolphin. There are a lot of dolphins that are endangered and I have loved Dolphins since I was a little girl. I went to Discovery Cove in Orlando when I was 8 and I got to swim with Dolphins. The Dolphin I swam with was called Rose which was extremely coincidental because my middle name is Rose. She was covered in scars. Therefore, I assume she was rescued or had experienced something prior to coming to Discovery Cove. I don't think any Dolphins should be put in a situation where there are endangered or at risk of getting hurt. Therefore, I would want to adopt a Dolphin and protect it from harm. There are these Dolphins that are found only in Zealand called Hector's Dolphins that I did a project on when I was in Primary School. They are extremely endangered and if it was possible, I would like to adopt one of them as well. They are unique due to their colour and the shape of their dorsal fin. Unlike most Dolphins with a pointed dorsal fin, Hector's Dolphins have a rounded dorsal fin.
Finally, I hope to maintain a healthy and active life. My family has a history of eating disorders and diabetes and heart problems. Therefore, the reality of that has been solidified into my brain over time. It is important to me that my family and I remain healthy and active to avoid any diseases that could occur from obesity or lack of physical exercise.
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