Now that it's over..

Now that the I look on back on the process of creating the showcase, I understand why Jennifer had us do things a certain way. By putting responsibility on us and forcing us to work together to create a great show for the enjoyment of others, we were able to put any differences aside and cooperate. There were obvious hiccups throughout the journey. For example, the ensembles dismissal of anything I had to say or when I missed 2 dance rehearsals. However, as we got to tech week, all hiccups were sorted out and became irrelevant. They became something to move passed.


I have found all year that whenever I contribute to a discussion, my comments go unnoticed. It isn't until I actually say "Hey you guys are accusing me of not contributing and here are countless examples of when I have contributed and you are completely dismissing what I have to say!". At that point they realized that I did contribute, but my contributions were still dismissed. It seemed like nothing I had to say was good enough. I planned a flashmob to bring us closer together and to get us to work on something together outside of class. Although some members of the ensemble loved my idea, a lot of them didn't think there was a point to it. A lot of this dismissal built up during the year until it just reached the point where I was completely unmotivated to do anything. 


I am good at organizing things. I organize events and that's one of my biggest strengths. I planned this years prom by myself and also the junior side of this years powderpuff game. When I was assigned costumes I put a lot of work into organizing what everyone had to wear. I initiated skype calls with the two Julia's. However, as they are recognized for putting in my effort than I do, despite the fact that I did essentially everything, they got most of the credit. I ordered costumes that we couldn't get from school and paid for them myself. I also harassed everyone to bring in their costumes. I did have help looking for costumes from the costume department at school so I wasn't completely alone for that task but I did do a lot of the work myself and that is a responsibility that I took on because I enjoy organizing things. I am not complaining for having to do most of the work. I just felt disheartened by receiving little credit in comparison to my group members. 


One of the most important lessons that I learned throughout the showcase process was to work with other people and not do everything by myself. With the dancing, I felt almost superior to other members of the ensemble because I knew that I could learn the steps quickly. The first rehearsal was originally scheduled for 2:30 which was fine because I got out of my dance class at 2. However, the time of the rehearsal was changed to 2 while I was in my dance class and as a result, I was blamed for being late  (despite the fact that I had a prior commitment that originally didn't conflict). There were two rehearsals after that that I missed due to inability to get rides. I knew that that wasn't a valid excuse but I made irrational decisions in the spur of the moment. However, at the time I thought that I could catch up separately. I had to learn that my not being there affected other members of the ensemble.


The showcase was a wake up call for our ensemble. We recognized our weaknesses and were able to work on them. As a result we are all really close in and outside of class.