When Jennifer first arrived, she asked us to write a journal entry titled "Who am I?". At the time, we were ignorant to the fact that details from these entries were going to be used for our showcase monologues. Therefore, I took the assignment seriously and wrote about a personal event in my life the shaped me. My dad.
When I received the script and I realized that the story about my dad was in there, I had mixed feelings. Part of me wanted to go through with it because it really is a significant part of who I am and no one really knows about it. However, knowing that my stepdad would be in the audience made me really uncomfortable. My stepdad has raised me as his daughter since I was 5. He has financially supported me and welcomed me into his family. He is who I consider to be my father, despite the fact that we're not biologically related. I was worried that I would offend him by talking about my dad and how what happened with my dad affected me.
What was in my monologue wasn't the whole story. There are other details that I chose not include because they didn't relate to the fact that the event shaped my fear of abandonment. If I had gone on to go into detail, I would have refused to perform the monologue.
In the end, I went through with it. I warned my mum and my stepdad beforehand about the monologue however, I don't think my stepdad fully understood what would be in it. As I was performing it he felt awkward because a lot of the audience members knew who he was. He and my mother sprinted out of the theatre after the performance.
Despite my stepdad, people who knew me were very touched by my monologue. Those audience members who didn't know me or personal details about me, were unaware that my monologue was a true story. However, those who knew me well (one of my friends and my best friends mother), were brought to tears because they knew that it was a true story.
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