Monologue: Who do I want to be in the future based off of my Stereotype?

So I was the popular cheerleader in high school and I always said that I wanted to go to my state school (UGA), get a job in communications and then get married and become one of the real housewives. I mean..I had to go to college, if I didn't go to college I would become a hobo and no guy would ever want to marry me. SO! I decided I wanted to go to college, get a degree and then not have to use it and just get married. 


Having children was just not an option. I just couldn't risk losing my figure..I mean this baby has to be maintained. I can't just eat chips everyday and expect to stay super thin with a nice butt. I mean we have to be realistic here. I have to exercise and cheerlead and eat healthy!!..this includes lots of fruit smoothies! So yeah. No babies for me. And whoever I marry has to accept that. But obviously he will because if it means he gets to keep my figure he can't exactly complain.


I wanted to be a real housewife who could cook and clean and be the "ideal" wife. However, that wasn't exactly how my life turned out. I didn't end up getting into UGA..or any good university for that matter. Apparently they don't accept you if you don't get good grades..I mean how was I supposed to know that?! I just thought that if I kept my figure and my cheerleading..i'd be good to go. But I guess now. So I had to take a gap year and apply for Georgia State the following year. I mean it's not the best school but it's still college. I got my communications degree but I wasn't married by the time I graduated. So I actually had to look for a job. I never even considered that I would have to actually use my degree. The job hunt wasn't a big success. The only job I could get was at hooters..but they said my boobs were too small so I had to get a boob job and then come back and fill out an application. So I went from a B to a large C/small D. Apparently it was an acceptable size so I got the job.


So now..i'm working at hooters with these unnecessarily large boobs that hurt my back! I still have my figure but i'm not dating anyone..at least not seriously.. Life just isn't what I expected it to be.